Shmuel* started Pre-K at his local yeshiva day school when he was 4 years old, following in his older siblings’ footsteps. His parents were thrilled with the school, where the opportunities for spiritual, academic, and social growth were plentiful, and their older children had made lots of friends. But by the time Shmuel reached Kindergarten, his teachers were concerned. It was not unusual for some children to mature more slowly than others, but Shmuel was also becoming increasingly introverted and rigid.
With each year that passed, the social, emotional, and academic gaps between
Shmuel and his peers seemed to widen. In response, each year the school increased the accommodations that he needed, always being honest with his parents about his difficulties. From the outset, Shmuel’s loving parents had dedicated all of their resources to support him. Following the advice of the school administration, they had hired a shadow, enrolled Shmuel in after-school social skills groups, driven him to weekly therapy appointments, and worked tirelessly to ensure that he would have the skills necessary not only to navigate the classroom environment but to succeed in life in general. Yet despite all of their emotional and financial investment and the school’s best intentions, in the middle of 4th Grade, Shmuel’s school experience began to unravel. He refused to participate in lessons, displayed aggressive behaviors for the first time, and alienated himself from his peers, teachers, and therapists. Ultimately, the school administration informed Shmuel’s parents that they weren’t equipped to handle his needs and recommended that they consider a special education placement for him.
Unfortunately, stories such as Shmuel’s are not rare.
For many children who ultimately do need a special education environment, earlier is significantly better. When a student experiences academic difficulty and failure year after year, we risk the child not only lagging further behind academically but also developing low self-esteem and depressed motivation.
Common sense tells us what research has confirmed: children are more likely to experience success in the classroom when they are excited and positive about the process of learning, an attitude which is easily thwarted by feelings of inadequacy and incompetence.
Certainly, it is often best for a child with learning difficulties or other challenges to remain in a regular education setting. There are so many factors that go into the decision: the child’s academic level, his or her social behavior, therapy availability, geographical location, and even the stigma associated with special education. Unfortunately, one critical variable that is often overlooked in this calculation is the potentially negative impact of waiting too long to make a change.
Parents wish that they had a crystal ball to see the future and know with certainty which placement is ideal, but the best they can do is seek and heed the advice of qualified educators and mental health professionals. For parents who are concerned that their child’s current school may not be the right fit, here are some actions to take to determine when it is time to seek an alternative:
- Speak to all teachers and service providers on a regular basis
- Chart your child’s behavior, noting difficulties and successful strategies, to try to get the broader picture
- Request and consider all feedback with an open mind
- State your desire for an honest assessment by the school (despite potential resulting challenges)
- Brainstorm potential interventions with school personnel
- Plan for an expert (e.g. therapist, educational consultant) to observe the class
- Bring an expert or advocate with you to meetings
- Arrange for relevant professional evaluations (e.g. educational, psychological, speech and language, OT, PT, neurological, etc) and consider the recommendations they make.
- Reach out to community resources. For example, whether or not SINAI is the right fit for your child, we are happy to brainstorm with you and guide you in finding additional resources.
Years after the anguish involved in making the decision to move Shmuel to a school more able to address his needs, his parents couldn’t be more optimistic about his future. During his four years at SINAI Schools, Shmuel flourished academically and grew socially and emotionally, becoming more sensitive and compassionate to others. After graduating from eighth grade, Shmuel reintegrated into a typical yeshiva high school. While Shmuel and his parents worked hard to get to this point, I can’t help but wonder if all the tears and frustration were necessary.
*Not his real name.
Caption for photo at top of page: Small classes and a professional-to-student ratio of nearly 1 to 1 allow SINAI to provide a highly individualized approach that is not possible in many other educational settings.
To read this article as it originally appeared in The Jewish Link, click here.